puppetsexualbrotherfucka asked: 0-50, asshole.
0. kissed a different race other than myself
PROBABLY? I DON’T KNOW. I THINK DAVE IS PROBABLY SOME HODGE PODGE OF BLOODLINES FROM DIFFERENT EUROPEAN ANCESTRY. AND I MEAN, WHO REALLY KNOWS. I GUESS I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT MYSELF, EITHER.
I’VE NEVER KISSED ASIANS OR AFRICAN AMERICANS, NOR NATIVE AMERICANS OR ACTUAL INDIANS.
EVERYONE IS AMERICAN. THE END.
1. kissed a girl
MAYBE. SHE BIT ME AND CACKLED, LIKE ‘HEHEHEHEHE’. WHAT THE FUCK.
2. kissed a boy
SO MANY FUCKING TIMES.
3. kissed in the rain
ACTUALLY THAT SOUNDS EXTREMELY FUCKING UNPLEASANT. COLD AND WET AND MUDDY.
4. kissed on a ferris wheel
5. kissed underwater
NOT THIS EITHER.
WE NEED TO GET MORE CREATIVE I GUESS.
6. kissed on new years
7. kissed under the mistletoe
NO. I DON’T KISS UNDER PARASITES.
8. kissed on 11:11
WHAT FUCKING LOSER WOULD DO THAT?
9. failed my drivers test
SO MANY FUCKING TIMES.
SCREW PARALLEL PARKING.
10. showered with someone else
11. made someone cry
12. broke someone’s heart
I DON’T THINK SO WAIT NO I GUESS MAYBE I DON’T KNOW.
I KNOW MY DADS HAVE BROKEN PEOPLE’S HEART. MAYBE LITERALLY.
13. rejected someone
YES. SORT OF?
14. gotten rejected
15. gone skinnydipping
EW FUCK NO.
16. wished on a shooting star
17. wished at 11:11
18. wished on a eyelash
I CAN’T EVEN SEE MY EYELASHES.
19. wished on birthday candles
IT’D BE SAD IF I HADN’T.
20. had a wish come true
I HAD SOME PRETTY STUPID WISHES.
21. stayed up for more than 24 hours
22. had a sleepover with the opposite sex
23. slept in the same bed as the opposite sex
24. had a date to a dance
DON’T EVEN MENTION DANCES.
25. had a one night stand
NOT REALLY MY THING.
26. had my heart broken
WASN’T HIS FAULT.
27. made fun of someone forbeingfat
YOU’RE FAT, STRIDER.
28. cut myself
I’M TOO MUCH OF A COWARD.
I TRIED AND FREAKED OUT.
29. liked more than one person at the same time
30. kissed more than two people in one night
NO? IT WASN’T LIP TO LIP I DON’T THINK.
31. found something valuable on the ground
32. been bitch slapped
LEFT THE BIGGEST BRUISE.
33. been slapped
I HAVE PANSY SKIN.
34. been told i’m ugly
MY REFLECTION ENDURES CONSTANT ABUSE.
35. been told i’m worthless
MY REFLECTION IS A SAD, PATHETIC WORM.
36. slapped someone
SCREW SLAPPING. I’LL PUNCH.
37. talked to someone via webcam
38. had a virus on my computer
I AM THE MOTHER OF COMPUTER VIRUSES.
39. had my butt slapped by someone i don’t know
THEY LOST A FINGER.
NO REALLY, MY DADS ARE CRAZY FUCKS.
40. kissed someone i don’t know
41. have a pillow pet
42. said something i wish i could take back
ALL THE FUCKING TIME. FUCK.
43. broken up with someone
44. lost a friend
NOT YET, SOMEHOW.
45. had a fight with someone over a guy
WHAT ABOUT GIRLS? SEXIST.
46. cheated on someone
47. someone cheated on someone, with me
SORT OF BUT I APPROVED IT MAYBE KIND OF?
THEORETICALLY. FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES.
49. gotten bullied via text/internet/calls
I CAN SAY IT DIDN’T LAST LONG.
50. fell in love